I feel unwanted sometimes. And I know that’s not your fault or your responsibility.
These are things I’m working on, but if you want a peek under the hood, that’s where the frustration comes from.
When someone asks for my help with something, especially when it’s a subject in which I have knowledge, I get invested.
I invest my whole being into it. I use all of my faculties, all the bits of my wisdom, all the searching I’ve done, ALL of it.
I want to sift through that knowledge and employ the tactics of best fit.
I like operating at full capacity like that.
In those moments, it’s like I’ve been approaching projects and solving problems in daily life, just for this purpose. And it feels good.
I feel useful.
It’s so important for me to feel useful.